I have a Valentine’s day gift for you!
I taught a class this morning in LORE called Romantasy Daydream. The invitation said, Valentine's, Galantine's, whatever you celebrate or don't, this class is space to let the romantic part of you dance. Are you willing to see what's there? Light, shadow, escapism, pain, pleasure, wholeness? Imagine looking it in the eye and seeing what you find. I'm really hoping we'll find love.
This class was inspired by a few things. One, me surrendering to the romantasy book genre and reading thousands and thousands of pages in the last year. Two, having a profound experience that I shared an invitation to in the Leo full moon blog this week, which I’ll post again here along with a video. Three, because grief, despair, confusion and exhaustion have become so normalized, I was curious how our bodies might respond to at least one song that encourages you to fantasize about a best-case love scenario…just for fun.
My experience under the full moon was that I took a romantic situation in my life and started to look at it from the perspective of all my different parts. There’s the All In Part, the Ride or Die, whatever comes, we will make it through. There’s the independent woman that doesn’t need a partner and if I have a partner, I’m going to focus on my boundaries and needs since I have a tendency to overgive and adapt. There’s the sad and alone me that needs gentleness and care and feels that so much of dating can just be too much. There’s the spiritual nun who read Calling In The One and decided to date God. There’s the hyper-vigilant, suspicious defensive part of me doing its damndest to protect me from hurt, fueled by the pain of the past. There’s the longing part of me that is so comfortable in the looooonnnnggggiiinnngggg. There’s the mature woman, who’s a mother now, who’s been married and is almost divorced, who’s been in therapy, and is earnestly wanting to weave self-responsibility and surrender with what’s realistic and also magical. There’s the inner child, the inner teenager and also the wise elder parts of me too. I gave each part a song and invited them to dance, express themselves and be heard.
This approach is similar to Internal Family Systems, which invites us to embrace the profound wisdom that lives within our whole being, recognizing that each part of ourselves - from our most joyful to our most protective - carries sacred purpose and intelligence. This approach teaches us that our inner world is made up of different aspects, each one holding its own emotions, beliefs, and bodily sensations. Rather than trying to silence or change these parts, IFS encourages us to turn toward them with curiosity and compassion, understanding that each one developed its role in an attempt to help us navigate life. By cultivating a relationship with these parts from a place of grounded, compassionate awareness, we create space for deep healing and transformation. This mirrors the philosophy of Qoya Inspired Movement, honoring the wisdom of the body and treating our whole being - including our shadows and challenges - as worthy of love and understanding.
I found so much resolution inside myself, honoring all the parts in that half hour of dancing. I was able to see the patterns I would default into that were not aligned with places that I really wanted to grow. I can’t recommend this process enough and let it inspire my Romantasy Daydream class I led today in LORE. We danced with the parts of ourselves that have, are or will jump into the journey of romance. We danced with honoring the wisdom that’s come from our lived experience and our perception of the way that love goes. We invited our earnest part in, the part that innately, like most humans, simply wants to love and be loved. We explore the committed, devoted parts of ourselves that will stand by ourselves and others. There was a song to notice any part that was up for you and be with them for that song as we shook. Then, there was one song as a permission slip and encouragement to fantasize the best case scenario, your romantasy daydream. It’s always fascinating to me to see the layers of resistance that can come between one and space to dream and imagine. We ended with stretching as a way to reflect, integrate and care for the parts that we invoked and listened at the end for a way to feel how all the movements, thoughts, emotions and experiences we had could come together into an image, word, phrase or action step to weave into our day.
If this is something you’d like to explore, you can visit the recording below. This post will be up through the weekend.
And, as a Valentine’s Day gift, I’d love to offer you a pass for a free class in LORE next week! Use code VDAYLORE when signing up for a the individual sessions of LORE. Our upcoming schedule is available here, in the calendar at the bottom of this page. Code is valid through the weekend!
And, if you’re inspired to learn more, and do these practices together in person, join us next month at Kripalu from March 9th through 14th. Gather together in community in times of accelerated personal and social change to reimagine what it is like to live a lifestyle of reverence everyday by letting the guiding question be: “How can I be in right relationship?” Come notice, honor, and express how you feel, and give yourself the gift of time to deeply nourish your highest self. If this retreat is calling to you, click here to learn more and register.
If you want to do your own version of this practice, here are the steps you can use as a template as you make it your own.
Time needed: 30+ minutes
Materials: Journal, music player, object to represent your intention (optional)
Before You Begin:Take a moment to center yourself and connect with what feels most alive in your heart right now.
The Practice:
1. FEEL & CONNECT (2-3 minutes)Feel into what is most present in your heart. Let yourself sit with whatever arises without judgment.
2. NAME YOUR PERSPECTIVES (3-5 minutes) Choose which aspects you want to explore: • Archetypes (sovereign, warrior, lover, magician) • Life phases (maiden, mother, queen, crone) • Inner ages (child, teenager, young adult, current self) • Aspects (mind, body, heart, spirit) • Decision viewpoints (choice A, choice B, not choosing, mystery)
3. SELECT YOUR SOUNDTRACK (5 minutes)Choose one song that resonates with each perspective you've selected. Create a playlist that will guide your movement journey.
4. CREATE SACRED SPACE (2-3 minutes)Place an object in your dance space that represents what you're exploring. This could be anything meaningful to you - a crystal, photo, written intention, or symbolic item.
5. DANCE YOUR EXPLORATION (10-20 minutes) • Move through each song, allowing each perspective to emerge through your body • Notice what sensations, emotions, or insights arise • Pause between songs to jot down any key insights or feelings
6. INTEGRATE & AMPLIFY (5 minutes) • Take a moment to feel how all these perspectives live within you • Write down any final insights or intentions • Ask the Leo Full Moon to illuminate your path forward • Consider how you might carry this integration into your daily lifeRemember: There's no "right way" to move or feel. Let your body lead and trust what emerges.
Honoring the tenderness of these times, may the love that led us here, lead us through,
Rochelle
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